How to Murder Your Life by Cat Marnell


Lend me your ears, young scribes, and let me take you on a methamphetamine-fueled escapade guaranteed to have your jaws a-droppin’. This fucking book. I stumbled across this whirlwind of a memoir during one of my weekly Amazon book-buying binges. The second I picked it up I was kidnapped; it roped me in and physically assaulted my eyeballs in the best possible way. Cat Marnell, if you’re reading this, thank you. Thank you so fucking much. And I mean that from the bottom of my cold, sarcastic heart.

Cat Marnell is the first to admit she leads a privileged life. She’s well aware of the fact she was handed more opportunities within her first few years on earth than most people receive in their entire existence. Her parents were loaded, money literally flying out of their assholes. She attended the best schools and received anything she ever wished for. But that didn’t stop her from fucking everything up, both intentionally and accidentally. When she was away at a prestigious boarding school, her friend offered her adderall in order to keep up with her schoolwork. One pill and she was hooked. Conveniently, Cat’s father was a psychiatrist and was more than willing to give her her own prescription if it meant she would stay on the honor roll. Pill after pill, paper after paper, Cat was a brand new person with an entire new lease on life. As long as she had her medication, she could conquer the world. Her dream was to one day become a beauty editor at a magazine company, and with those pills in her pocket she knew she could make her dreams come true.

Flash forward a decade. Cat Marnell is the beauty editor at Lucky Magazine. Surrounded by celebrities and getting paid thousands of dollars a month, she had finally accomplished her lifelong goal. However, she was now “shopping” for doctors daily, with about 20 different ‘scrips a month to keep up with her pill-popping habit. Then came cocaine. Then came meth. Then came PCP. Then came heroin. And she pulled it off without anyone knowing for years, until it one day it all came crashing down around her.

That’s the jist of the story without giving too much away. This book is so much more than just some memoir of an addict. This book is so much more than that. I’m not sure if it’s because Cat is so young and was so brutally honest about the things she did and the horrific things she’s experienced, or if it’s because she has yet to beat her addiction. It’s just… it’s so refreshing to hear somebody talk so brutally honest about the life of an addict and how damn near impossible it is to beat, no matter how hard they try. ALSO, it was nice to read about a young woman and her insane addiction to adderall because I would eat those suckers like candy if my body wasn’t riddled with anxiety afterwards.

Side note, Cat also gave me hope that one day I’ll be able to finish my book. Not that I don’t think I’m capable of doing so, but because the amount of curse words scattered throughout her novel was fire. And when a fellow sailor-mouthed woman stumbles across one of her own, it gives you that extra kick in the ass you’ve been looking for.

Buy this book. clicky clicky.


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About readwithg

I may not hit rock bottom but I'll sure slap the hell out of the walls. Lover of cats and all things furry/impassive. I'm not worried about the wrinkles around my smile: I prefer my puns intended and my laugh is funnier than my jokes.
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